Mommy's Project 52:17 Leading

The dictionary defines "leading" as directing or guiding. I was thinking about how much of the "leading" we do is just by living our life. I am always telling my son that how he handles himself is how his sister will learn how to handle the situation. It starts with the adults around our children. I am amazed at how much my son picks up on my feelings and notices my reactions to things around me. As we approach the Christmas holidays, I am reminded that I need to set the example of how to handle the season. I can lead my son toward consumerism or the real joy in the season of giving and helping others. I am looking for new ways for us to serve others this season instead of looking to see how much we can collect under the Christmas tree. Do you have unique ways to lead your family toward doing more instead of wanting more this time of year?

Side note: The last few posts have been short due to the fact I am overwhelmed by getting us ready for the big move. My next post will be on the other side of the move. Yeah, I can't wait to get us settled in our new home. Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

Mommy's Project 52:16 Organizing

I feel exactly the opposite of organized right now. I had dreams of sorting through everything before I moved and it is not going to happen. I find myself just putting stuff in boxes hoping that I will be able to unpack slowly and the organizing will happen on the other end of this move. I do like to organize and we will have to downsize because we are going to have about 400 less square feet of space in the new house. I do feel that the space is better designed so I am hoping that will make up for some of the difference. I am really looking forward to getting us and all our stuff back in one location.

Mommy's Project 52:15 Nap Time

Yeah for nap time!! Not only are my kids happier when they get their nap, so is Mommy and Daddy. My son who is going to turn five this month has napped until very recently. He would nap from 12:30 to 3:30 everyday from when he was a little over a year to his mid fours. He has stopped napping but he still has quiet time in his room for about 30 minutes each day so I can have a break. He needed to stop napping because it made it hard for him to sleep at night. If I let him stay in his room for longer than 30 minutes he will fall asleep and then it will be a late bedtime. I think it is okay for him to stay up all day since he will be going to Kindergarten next fall and he needs to build his stamina up for the long school day. He still gets tired around supper time but now with the time change he will go to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 and that is perfect for me.

My daughter who is 22 months old is in the great one long nap phase. She now naps pretty much everyday from 12:30 to 3:30 and still goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00. It is awesome and I love it! It gives my son and I time to work on things that are better done when sister is asleep. It might be a movie and popcorn, a game with small pieces, or computer time for my son. After Christmas, we are going to try a little "home schooling" to get ready for Kindergarten. I mentioned in my last post we are moving and as of now there are no openings in any of the preschool programs that I am interested in where we are moving. So we might only be able to do a Mom's Day Out program twice a week this spring.

The only thing I have consciously done is to make napping a priority. I set up our schedules around nap time as much as possible so that we are home between lunch and 3:30 pm. Occasionally when I need a nap, I will lay down beside my son as he reads in bed and get a quick nap in while he is doing his quiet time. My husband likes to declare everybody nap time after church on Sundays. It makes for a nice relaxing lazy Sunday when we don't have anything else scheduled. It has not been happening with this move but it is something we hope to be able to put back into the schedule after the move.

(Note to self: I need to take some pictures of them sleeping, I couldn't find any in the last 6 months.)

Mommy's Project 52:14 Fixing

We are in the process of a big move. When we moved here 18 months ago, I realized that I let my feelings about the move show and it made the move harder on my son. This time I need to do a better job making this move a positive experience for my son. This weekend we started the process of moving our life from here to there. We closed on a house on Friday. Then we camped out in the house for the weekend. My husband and I thought a good introduction to the neighborhood would be trick-or-treating.

Letting my son take some personal ownership of his room was another way we felt we could get him more excited about this move. My son got to make his bedroom personal by adding dinosaur decals to the wall. We him decide where to put them in the room and kept our interference to a minimum. His only rule was they had to be higher than his sister could reach.

.

He wanted to help paint his sister's room. We didn't know if he was old enough but we gave him a chance and he made us so proud. He worked so carefully with the paint. Then we added some flower decals on her wall.

This is her room all fixed up.

It was a good start. When we were done, my son looked at me and said, "So we can stay here forever? Or until Daddy gets laid off from his job again, right?" He is exactly right and maybe even then. So I am doing my best to be positive about all things involved with the move because I know I have little eyes watching how I handle the move and I want to fix all those scared feelings he has about moving one more time. I think the painting and decorating even got me excited about this new chapter of our lives.

Mommy's Project 52:13 Bathing

For a little over a year we have had to live without a bathtub. I never knew how much I would miss one until I didn't have the option. Here is a picture of the work around we used with the kids. I have gotten used to this method and because of the large shower stall, splashing and playing are not a big mess for me. We will be moving next month and we will have bathtubs again. I think my son will have good memories of his time bathing in the grey plastic tub.

Mommy's Project 52:12 Time Out

When I think of time out I think both of time out for discipline with children and time out for moms to be away from their kids. For me, the latter of the two is most important. When I get my “me” time I find that I am a happier mom and the need for time out for the kids is much less.

I use time out a lot less than I thought I would as a mom with my son. When he was younger, in his 2’s, we would do more of a time in. He would have to sit next to me on the couch until he calmed down. My husband would often hold him until he was calm. We also didn’t have the problem of making him stay in time out.

When he was in his 3’s, we used time out a few times. He would have to go to his room until he could re-join the group. He takes discipline pretty seriously and gets very upset when he is corrected so it has been pretty easy to take a more relaxed approach to time out. We just didn’t use it very much as a discipline tool.

Now that he is in his 4’s, I still don’t use a traditional view of time out. I use more of a separation from the problem. That can be a separation from his sister. We have two play mats and they are sometimes required to each be at their own play area until they can try playing together again. The other thing is to be separated from the toy or activity that is the problem.

Probably the easiest occasion to use time out for me is when I am with other families in a large group situation such as a play date at the park. This is an occasion when sitting on the sidelines of the play situation fits best for us. My son is pretty shy and so he is usually not the aggressor in the group but I see a time when this might be very useful for my soon to be 22 month old.

I will be interested to find out if other moms find time out really useful and effective in their families.

Mommy's Project 52:11 Rewarding

Before I had these two kids above, I had a very rewarding teaching job. I loved it! When I got married and decided to have a child, I didn't know how I could be a great teacher and a great mom. I just didn't think I would have enough energy at the end of the day to give my best to my kids. So I decided to quit teaching until the youngest went to kindergarten. This has been the best decision for me. Almost everything I do everyday is directly related to the raising of these two young kids. Watching them grow up and being there to see all the little baby steps is my reward. I just love being their mommy!