When I think of time out I think both of time out for discipline with children and time out for moms to be away from their kids. For me, the latter of the two is most important. When I get my “me” time I find that I am a happier mom and the need for time out for the kids is much less.
I use time out a lot less than I thought I would as a mom with my son. When he was younger, in his 2’s, we would do more of a time in. He would have to sit next to me on the couch until he calmed down. My husband would often hold him until he was calm. We also didn’t have the problem of making him stay in time out.
When he was in his 3’s, we used time out a few times. He would have to go to his room until he could re-join the group. He takes discipline pretty seriously and gets very upset when he is corrected so it has been pretty easy to take a more relaxed approach to time out. We just didn’t use it very much as a discipline tool.
Now that he is in his 4’s, I still don’t use a traditional view of time out. I use more of a separation from the problem. That can be a separation from his sister. We have two play mats and they are sometimes required to each be at their own play area until they can try playing together again. The other thing is to be separated from the toy or activity that is the problem.
Probably the easiest occasion to use time out for me is when I am with other families in a large group situation such as a play date at the park. This is an occasion when sitting on the sidelines of the play situation fits best for us. My son is pretty shy and so he is usually not the aggressor in the group but I see a time when this might be very useful for my soon to be 22 month old.
I will be interested to find out if other moms find time out really useful and effective in their families.
Before I had these two kids above, I had a very rewarding teaching job. I loved it! When I got married and decided to have a child, I didn't know how I could be a great teacher and a great mom. I just didn't think I would have enough energy at the end of the day to give my best to my kids. So I decided to quit teaching until the youngest went to kindergarten. This has been the best decision for me. Almost everything I do everyday is directly related to the raising of these two young kids. Watching them grow up and being there to see all the little baby steps is my reward. I just love being their mommy!As I was preparing for this week’s topic, I realized I have mixed feelings and thoughts about cleaning depending on the situation. Cleaning can be joyful, relaxing, therapeutic, painful, sickening, and just plain boring.
In the middle of a busy or stressful situation, I find cleaning can be very relaxing. If you can put all that extra energy into a clean shower, a spotless high chair, or sparkling windows it can make you feel a lot better. Having a cleaning routine and having a respectably clean house at all times makes the unexpected guest a pleasure.
If you clean all the time, your house may be spotless but you may be missing out on a fun finger painting session or sharing a book with your child. I doubt that I will regret that I didn’t clean more ten years from now.
It is a task that needs to be done repeatedly. When I became a stay-at-home mom, I tried to conquer it. But you can never claim victory because the minute it is finished, the cycle must start again. So I had to find a level of clean that would work for my family.
One helpful website that I use is www.flylady.net. I found this site to be very helpful to getting my household cleaning organized. I do not follow her entire schedule but I check in and read articles and get some great ideas from the site.
