Respect is one of the most important traits that we try to instill in our children. Children need to be respectful, be given respect and watch it modeled by the adults around them.
Here are some common behaviors that I learned as a child:
*Hold the door for someone.
*Offer your seat on the bus to an older person.
*When you have guests, offer them something to drink.
*Say please and thank you.
*Ask before using someone's else stuff.
*Use good manners when eating.
*If you don't have something good to say, don't say anything at all.
*Respect for people in authority (elders, police, teachers, public office).
*Don't gossip.
*It is not okay to call someone before 8 AM or after 9 PM.
There are some new areas of concern due to advances in technology. We can now communicate with people who are not present and we have to keep in mind the people who are in our near vicinity. We also have to consider all the choices we have when communicating and choose a method that fits the occasion.
Some examples:
*texting during church, dinner table, and while with other people.
*blu-tooth in ear and talking on it with no awareness to who is around them.
*texting and driving
*email invitation vs. paper invitations
*thank you note - handwritten or by email
*phone call vs. text vs. email - appropriate choice to communicate bad news etc.
*social media - who are friends?
*social media - choice of pictures, tweets, and things to share with all the world.
*meetings - is it okay to text and search the web while listening to the boss or speaker?
*talking on the phone while ordering food at the drive-through.
Some of these issues have not been around long enough for there to be a general agreement on what is and is not appropriate. It doesn't appear that many of us limit and control our own use of technology so it is hard for us to model consistent behavior to our children. How many of us are so interested in the texts on our phone that we will stop reading a book to our kids to check the ding on our phone, email, or facebook notification. How many of us text while driving? Are we texting under the table at meetings and in church? My kids are still small but I am thinking about how much importance I place on Facebook, email, and text messages. I know their little eyes are watching.
I am also concerned about the lack of respectful language on children's cartoons and programming. I do not allow my children watch certain shows because of the way the characters treat each other on screen. And I won't even go into the language used in political discussions as we approach this coming election year.
Using good manners and having my children be respectful to others is very important. To have more civil and respectful children, we need to make sure that our own conversations and television viewing are modeling respect.
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